Tristan

“The wolf said, "You know, my dear, it isn't safe for a little girl to walk through these woods alone."

Red Riding Hood said, "I find your sexist remark offensive in the extreme, but I will ignore it because of your traditional status as an outcast from society, the stress of which has caused you to develop your own, entirely valid, worldview. Now, if you'll excuse me, I must be on my way.”
― James Finn Garner, Politically Correct Bedtime Stories

“THINK ABOUT COWS THINK ABOUT COWS THINK ABOUT COWS.”
― Tui T. Sutherland, The Dragonet Prophecy

“Besides, Clay knew Starflight, and Starflight was many things —
annoying, long-winded, smart, too serious — but he had no magical powers
and he was never, ever scary.”
― Tui T. Sutherland, The Dragonet Prophecy

“Let us find the dam snack bar," Zoe said. "We should eat while we can."
Grover cracked a smile. "The dam snack bar?"
Zoe blinked. "Yes. What is funny?"
"Nothing," Grover said, trying to keep a straight face. "I could use some dam french fries."
Even Thalia smiled at that. "And I need to use the dam restroom."
...
I started cracking up, and Thalia and Grover joined in, while Zoe just looked at me. "I do not understand."
"I want to use the dam water fountain," Grover said.
"And..." Thalia tried to catch her breath. "I want to buy a dam t-shirt.”
― Rick Riordan, The Titan’s Curse