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Book cover for Well-Behaved Indian Women
true friendship has little to do with how long you’ve known someone and everything to do with faith. The faith that you can expose your rawest thoughts and still be accepted.
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“Because of these fears, fawners have trouble asserting ourselves, asking for help, or expressing opinions. We have difficulty setting fees or asking for money we’re owed. We’re afraid of taking up too much space in the overhead bin. We don’t want to disappoint people or “get in trouble.” Most people want to be liked, but fawners need it like Linus needs his security blanket.”
Ingrid Clayton, Fawning: Why the Need to Please Makes Us Lose Ourselves—and How to Find Our Way Back

“Due to our anxiety, fawners overfunction and overcommit. We volunteer, take on extra work, take the load off for others. We can’t tolerate the anxiety when no one else steps up, and this leads to—you guessed it—more anxiety. We can’t do it all, and while being of service is a wonderful thing, fawners don’t know where the line is, when we are of service to others—at the expense of ourselves.”
Ingrid Clayton, Fawning: Why the Need to Please Makes Us Lose Ourselves—and How to Find Our Way Back

Fredrik Backman
“Adults often think that self-confidence is something a child learns, but little kids are by their nature always invincible, it’s self-doubt that needs to be taught.”
Fredrik Backman, My Friends

“A definitive symptom of childhood trauma is trying to get a difficult person to be good to us.”
Ingrid Clayton, Fawning: Why the Need to Please Makes Us Lose Ourselves—and How to Find Our Way Back

“This is what unfawning often looks like in the beginning, telling a radical truth we didn’t think we could tell (once enough internal and external safety has been established). A risk that feels bigger than we might survive.”
Ingrid Clayton, Fawning: Why the Need to Please Makes Us Lose Ourselves—and How to Find Our Way Back

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