Mai

“Want to make out?”
“With who?” she asks, not bothering to look up.
“Me.”
She lifts her head from her book just long enough to give me a once-over. “No, thanks,” she says, then goes back to her homework.
She’s fuckin’ with me. She’s got to be fuckin’ with me, right?
“Because of that pendejo Tuck?”
“No. Because I don’t want Madison’s leftovers.”
Wait. Un. Momento. I’ve been called a lot of things before, but . . .
“You callin’ me leftovers?”
“Yeah. Besides, Tuck is a great kisser. I wouldn’t want you to feel bad when there’s no way you can compete.”
That guy hardly owns a pair of lips. “Wanna bet?”
― Simone Elkeles, Rules of Attraction

“Butch nodded as if he knew exactly what was doing. "Like I said, my man, it's whatever. You and me? Same as always, no matter who you screw. Although… if you're into sheep, that would be tough. Don't know if I could handle that.”
― J.R. Ward, Lover Unbound

“Do you play football?' Brandon asks.
'No.'
'Baseball?'
'Nope.'
Brandon is on a roll and won't stop until he's found the answer he's looking for. 'Tennis?'
'That would be a nada'
'Then what sport do you play?'
Carlos puts down his food. Oh, no. He's got a rebellious gleam in his eye as he says, 'The horizontal tango.'
...Alex stands and says through chlenched teeth, 'Carlos let's talk. In private. Ahora.'
....Brandon turns to my dad with big, innocent eyes. 'Daddy, do you know how to do the horizontal tango?”
― Simone Elkeles, Rules of Attraction

“I take thee... to be my awful wedded husband”
― Susan Elizabeth Phillips, Kiss an Angel