Sarah

“[Empathy] is not about being nice or agreeing with the other side. It's about understanding them. Empathy helps us learn the position the enemy is in, why their actions make sense (to them), and what might move them.

As negotiators we use empathy because it works.”
― Chris Voss, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It

“Notice we said 'It sounds like . . .' and not 'I'm hearing that . . .' That's because the word 'I' gets people's guard up. When you say 'I,' it says you're more interested in yourself than the other person, and it makes you take personal responsibility for the words that follow—and the offense they might cause.”
― Chris Voss, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It

“In one brain imaging study, psychology professor Matthew Lieberman of the University of California, Los Angeles, found that when people are shown photos of faces expressing strong emotion, the brain shows greater activity in the amygdala, the part that generates fear. But when they are asked to label the emotion, the activity moves to the areas that govern rational thinking. In other words, labeling an emotion—applying rational words to a fear—disrupts its raw intensity.”
― Chris Voss, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It

“I try to think the simpler thing; it’s easier that way. But then life complicates it, two minds living and thinking in the same small space. You think you’ve placed a thought or a memory so you can live with it, and then that other mind comes crowding in and knocks it down.”
― Christina Baker Kline, Sweet Water