“Grief feels like this: an okay day and a good day and an okay day then a bad. Bad that follows and empties you. Bad like a sinkhole. ° ° ° ° ° It feels like an unrelenting urge to lay your head down on the table, wherever you are, whomever you are with. ° ° ° ° ° It feels like a night of vivid dreams, and when you wake, all day you hold one dream close because in it everything was back to how it once was.”
― How It Feels to Float
― How It Feels to Float
“In the days that followed, I thought about grief. How nothing and nobody can prepare you for it. People tell you their stories, but until you experience it for yourself you cannot possibly understand. There’s no going around it, or under, or over it - you’ve got to go through it. It will hit you in waves so enormous that you are smacked against the shore. It will permeate the very fabric of your life so that everything you do is stained by it. Every moment, good or bad, is steeped in sadness for a while. Even the nice moments - the achievements and successes - are tinged with the knowledge that someone or something is missing.”
― Out of Love
― Out of Love
“I wouldn’t listen. I wanted everything to stay as it was. I was more afraid of the truth than the lie. The truth would change the circumstances of my life. The lie was static. The lie was peaceful. I was happy with the lie.”
― Long Bright River
― Long Bright River
“I don't know what to say. So I don't say anything, just stare at the text, and this is when I realise I might actually be invisible; maybe I am a ghost and I can't text back because I don't have fingers or a mind that functions and even though I can physically see myself maybe I'm 100 percent a lie.”
― How It Feels to Float
― How It Feels to Float
“But knowing something and believing are two very different things.”
― Out of Love
― Out of Love
N i k a ;’s 2025 Year in Books
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