a:)

“I am a descendant of Ranthia Drahl, Queen of Embers. She is with me now and I am not afraid. My friends are behind me, and I will protect them.”
― Sarah J. Maas, House of Earth and Blood

“Xaden's head snaps in my direction. 'Violence?'

I take a step and then another, holding my frame upright with muscle memory I didn't have last year, and begin to cross.

Xaden swings his legs up and then fucking jumps to his feet. 'Turn around right now!' he shouts.

'Come with me,' I call over the wind, bracing myself as gust whips my skirt against my legs. 'Should have gone with the pants,' I mutter and keep walking.

He's already coming my way, his strides just as long and confident as if he was on solid ground, eating up the distance between us as I move forward slowly until we meet.

'What the fuck are you doing out here?' he asks, locking his hands on my waist. He's in riding leathers, not a dress uniform, and he's never looked better.

What am I doing out here? I'm risking everything to reach him. And if he rejects me... No. There's no room for fear on the parapet.

'I could ask you the same thing.'

His eyes widen. 'You could have fallen and died!'

'I could say the same thing.' I smile, but it's shaky. The look in his eyes is wild, like he's been driven past the point where he can contain himself in the neat, apathetic façade he usually wears in public.

It doesn't scare me. I like him better when he's real with me, anyway.

'And did you stop to think that if you fall and die, then I can die?' He leans in and my pulse jumps.

'Again,' I say softly, resting my hands on his firm chest, right above his heartbeat, 'I could say the same thing.' Even if Xaden's death wouldn't kill Sgaeyl, I'm not sure I could survive it.'

Shadows rise, darker than the night that surrounds us. 'You're forgetting that I wield shadows, Violence. I'm just as safe out here as I am in the courtyard. Are you going to wield lightning to break your fall?'

Fine. That's a good point.

'I... perhaps did not think that part through as thoroughly as you,' I admit. I wanted to be close to him, so I got close, parapet be damned.'

'You're seriously going to be the death of me.' His fingers flex at my waist. 'Go back.'

It's not a rejection, not with the way he's looking at me. We've been sparring emotionally for the past month, hell, even longer than that, and one of us has to expose our jugular. I finally trust him enough to know he won't go for the kill.

'Only if you do. I want to be whereever you are.' And I mean it. Everyone else- everything else in the world can fall away and I won't care as long as I'm with him.”
― Rebecca Yarros, Fourth Wing

“I’ve always thought she was a better match for you.”
“I know the feeling well. And you are strong and fierce and have a ruthless streak, too. Not to mention you’re the smartest person I’ve ever met. That mind of yours is sexy as hell. Imogen and I are just friends. Trust me, she wasn’t looking at me, and even if she were…Gods help me, I’m only looking at you.”
― Rebecca Yarros, Fourth Wing

“As angry as I am, I can’t imagine a world without him in it. “I need you to survive this, even if I hate that I still love you.”
“I can live with that.”
― Rebecca Yarros, Fourth Wing