Lynne

“He made me see what my ex was doing – gaslighting me into believing I was a bad girlfriend, making out that I was neglecting him in favour of my friends and family when, in reality, Damian just wanted to keep me all to himself so that he could control me. Limiting when I could go out and who I could see by guilt-tripping me. Saying that I didn’t care about him. That I was a thoughtless, selfish person who did what I wanted without thinking about how it made him feel. Every time I planned to do anything without him – attend a works do, go to a family gathering or meet up with friends – Damian would sulk. I would make the mistake of asking what was wrong and, all the while, I’d have this dread in the pit of my stomach, knowing how the conversation would end: in a huge blow-up with me apologising, reassuring him that of course I wouldn’t go to whatever event had got him so insecure, soothing his rage until he forgave me. Laurence helped me to see that this was how my ex manipulated me. Making me think I was in the wrong for simply wanting to live a normal life that didn’t revolve completely around him. It was a horrible, horrible time and the thought of Damian coming back on the scene again brings me out in a cold sweat. ‘Don’t worry,’ Laurence says, pulling me in for another hug. ‘I doubt it was him you saw. And even if it was, it’s all ancient history. You’re not with him any more. He doesn’t have any hold over you or bearing on your life.’ I step back and nod. ‘You’re right. Of course you are. I’m just being silly.’ So”
― Shalini Boland, The Silent Bride