Christopher Daly

“There was something pleasant about an empty classroom. Of course, as any teacher would point out, one nice thing was that there were no children in it.”
― Terry Pratchett

“Just a minute," said Lobsang. "Who are you? Time has stopped, the world is given over to...fairy tales and monsters, and there's a schoolteacher walking around?"

"Best kind of person to have," said Susan. "We don't like silliness. Anyway, I told you. I've inherited certain talents."

"Like living outside of time?"

"That's one of them."

"It's a weird talent for a schoolteacher!"

"Good for marking, though," said Susan calmly.”
― Terry Pratchett, Thief of Time

“I'm your worst nightmare!' said Teatime cheerfully.
The man shuddered.
'You mean ... the one with the giant cabbage and the sort of whirring knife thing?'
'Sorry?' Teatime looked momentarily nonplussed.
'Then you're the one where I'm falling, only instead of the ground underneath it's all --'
'No. In fact I'm --'
The guard sagged. 'Awww, not the one where there's all this kind of, you know, mud and then everything goes blue --'
'No, I'm --'
'Oh, shit, then you're the one where there's this door only there's no floor beyond it and then there's these claws --'
'No,' said Teatime. 'Not that one.' He withdrew a dagger from his sleeve. 'I'm the one where this man comes out of nowhere and kills you, stone dead.”
― Terry Pratchett, Hogfather

“Racism was not a problem on the Discworld, because—what with trolls and dwarfs and so on—speciesism was more interesting. Black and white lived in perfect harmony and ganged up on green.”
― Terry Pratchett, Witches Abroad