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I know the records will cause confusion, as my history isn’t charted in one continuous, major decline. In some ways, I am almost adultlike. Despite the many times I’ve dropped out of school, I always manage to return, and I finally got my
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“I've grown up with an ethic, call it a part, that insists I hide my pain at all costs. As I talk, I feel this pain leaking out—not just the core symptom of BPD, but all the years of being blamed or ignored for my condition, and all the years I've blamed others for how I am. It's the pain of being told I was too needy even as could never get the help I needed.”
― The Buddha and the Borderline
― The Buddha and the Borderline
“I'm so good at beginnings, but in the end I always seem to destroy everything, including myself.”
― The Buddha and the Borderline
― The Buddha and the Borderline
“Once you've posed that question, it won't go away. I think many people kill themselves simply to stop the debate about whether they will or they won't.”
― Girl, Interrupted
― Girl, Interrupted
“Thirty seconds of pure awareness is a long time, especially after a lifetime of escaping yourself at all costs.”
― The Buddha and the Borderline
― The Buddha and the Borderline
“So at family gatherings… I try to stick to the acceptable script. Indeed, I discover that the less I say, the happier everyone seems to be with me. I sometimes wonder if I wouldn’t have been better off as a paraplegic or afflicted by some tragic form of cancer. The invisibility and periodicity of my disorder, along with how often I border on normalcy, allows them to evade my need for their understanding. And because our most enduring family heirloom is avoidance and denial of pain and suffering, I don’t need much prompting to shut myself down in their presence.”
― The Buddha and the Borderline
― The Buddha and the Borderline
Bex’s 2024 Year in Books
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