“That trauma of knowing someone you love is willing to take your last breath?” asks Gael Strack, a leading domestic violence advocate in San Diego. “How do you live with that?”
“When culture is based on a dominator model, not only will it be violent, but it will frame all relationships as power struggles.”
― The Will to Change: Men, Masculinity, and Love
― The Will to Change: Men, Masculinity, and Love
“Then we get into our forties and fifties, and we finally start to be free, because we decide that we don’t give a damn what anyone thinks of us. But you won’t be completely free until you reach your sixties and seventies, when you finally realize this liberating truth—nobody was ever thinking about you, anyhow.” They aren’t. They weren’t. They never were. People are mostly just thinking about themselves. People don’t have time to worry about what you’re doing, or how well you’re doing it, because they’re all caught up in their own dramas. People’s attention may be drawn to you for a moment (if you succeed or fail spectacularly and publicly, for instance), but that attention will soon enough revert right back to where it’s always been—on themselves. While it may seem lonely and horrible at first to imagine that you aren’t anyone else’s first order of business, there is also a great release to be found in this idea. You are free, because everyone is too busy fussing over themselves to worry all that much about you. Go be whomever you want to be, then. Do whatever you want to do. Pursue whatever fascinates you and brings you to life. Create whatever you want to create—and let it be stupendously imperfect, because it’s exceedingly likely that nobody will even notice. And that’s awesome.”
― Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear
― Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear
Mary’s 2025 Year in Books
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