Josh

“Too bad Americans can’t export Awesome, because I have boxes and boxes of the stuff just lying around in my attic.”
― Jarod Kintz, At even one penny, this book would be overpriced. In fact, free is too expensive, because you'd still waste time by reading it.

“Astriola. That IS demon pox. You had evidence that demon pox existed and you didnt mention it to me! Et tu, Brute!' He rolled up the paper and hit Jem over the head with it.”
― Cassandra Clare, Clockwork Prince

“They all ordered massive plates of eggs, pancakes, and reindeer sausage, though Frank looked a little worried about the reindeer. "You think it's okay that we're eating Rudolph?"

"Dude," Percy said, "I could eat Prancer and Blitzen, too. I'm hungry.”
― Rick Riordan, The Son of Neptune

“Jarod Kintz was born in Salt Lake City to a family of five. One father, and four mothers. Jarod moved around a lot as a kid, but eventually ended up in the middle bedroom. Being an only child, Jarod has been known to tell people, “I’m genetically half non-existent, on my brother’s side.”

Well, enough about me, let me tell you about my work. Actually, I'll let it speak for myself. So read it and find out what it says. Or, rather, what I say it says.”
― Jarod Kintz, I Want Two apply for a job at our country's largest funeral home, and then wear a suit and noose to the job interview.