Cindy Reifel

“You've slept with Gabrielle?" Adam asked. "You haven't slept with her too, have you, Mark?"

"No!" Mark answered.

"Good, or I would have felt really left out.”
― N.M. Silber, The Home Court Advantage

“There, I saw Adam messing around with a container of tic tacs. I had found the source of the cinnamon taste of his kisses. He looked up.

"Want one?" he offered.

"Sure, thanks," I replied. He proceeded to knock exactly one tic tac into his palm and hand it to me. "Are you sure you can spare this?" I asked solemnly.

"How many did you want?"

"Well, more than one. Who gives somebody one tic tac? Would it kill to be a little more generous? some psychologist somewhere probably has some theory about one tic tac givers and fear of commitment."

"Fear of commitment, my ass. You should be committed, you loon. If you were intended to have more than one tic tac, they would have just made tic tacs bigger. This is regulation sized tic tac, and it should be more than enough to satisfy your breath freshening needs," he said, sounding affronted.

"A tic tac is not merely a breath freshener, it is a candy," I pointed out, voice rising in anger. Who was he calling a loon? "And they make them small on purpose, so you'll think you're getting more, and so you'll run out faster when someone asks for one, and you will give them a few!"

"Why would someone ask for A tic tac when they really wanted several tic tacs? What does that say about their psychology?! Why not be honest from the get-go about what you want?!" he shouted back at me.

" I didn't ask for one! You offered me one, God damn it!"

"And as for your other points, it is primarily a breath freshener, and maybe you should alert the media about your great tic tac size conspiracy!"

"I can't believe we're fighting about motherfucking tic tacs!" I screamed and the two of us glowered each other across my desk for several seconds before smiles slowly appeared on both of our faces.

"Want to have make-up sex?" he asked.

"Yeah, let's go," I said, getting up and heading for the bedroom.”
― N.M. Silber, Legal Briefs

“If I say it, will you say it too?" I asked, swallowing hard, even though my mouth was dry. I willed him silently not to joke around or say anything that could hurt me.

"Yes, but I need to hear you say it first," he answered with a voice filled with tension.

"What are you, four? Why can't we just say it at the same time?" I asked, panicking.

"Because that's stupid. And when I was four, I said it by licking your Fruit Roll-Up. Why can't you just say it? Don't you trust me?"

"Why do you always get to decide who does what? I let you lift, and I wiped!"

"You're comparing us declaring our love for each other to wiping a baby's ass?!"

"Ah Ha! You said it!" I announced victoriously.

"I did not! I was saying it generally! That's different than saying it!"

"You said 'declaring our love'!"

"That's different than saying 'I love you'!"

"Ah ha!" I cried again.

"Oh Jesus H. Christ! Who's the one who's four?! Will you just say it, woman?!"

"Fine! I love you, you asshole!"

"I love you too, you nutty broad!”
― N.M. Silber, Legal Briefs

“I have a penis," Josh announced out of the blue, pointing down into the water.

"That's because you're a boy," I explained sagely.

"Does Uncle Adam have a penis?"

"Oh yeah," I said with a smile. Adam looked up at me and tried not to laugh.

"Does Elmo have a penis?"

"Uh, well..." He had stumped me.”
― N.M. Silber, Legally Wed