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“Even if you are half barnyard animal, you’re my best friend and I don’t want you to die!”
― Rick Riordan, Percy Jackson Demigod Collection

“What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common? Same middle name.”
― Various, 100 Best Jokes: Family Edition

“Sugar why don’t you sit down by the table and we’ll start supper,” said Dorothy to her husband of 50 years. “Sure thing,” said her husband, settling himself down. “Now darling, would you like the soup first or the salad?” asked Dorothy. “Umm I guess I’ll take the soup.” He responded. After a whole meal of one endearing term after another, their guest Bob couldn’t contain his curiosity any longer. Bob snuck into the kitchen and asked, “Dorothy do you always talk to your husband like that?” “Bob, I’ll be honest with you,” Dorothy replied. “It’s been five years now, I just can’t remember his name, and I am just too embarrassed to ask him!”
― Various, 100 Best Jokes: Family Edition

“And then I found the Code. It was buried under some of the things they’d dumped out of his desk. A piece of loose-leaf notebook paper with Darius’s thirteen-year-old scrawl on it, mounted on a faded sheet of blue construction paper. THE CODE OF HONOR, it said at the top, and underneath were written the seven rules we thought all heroes should live by: 1) Be the strongest of the strong. 2) Be the bravest of the brave. 3) Help the helpless. 4) Always tell the truth. 5) Be loyal. 6) Never give up. 7) Kill all monsters. We were big on killing monsters.”
― Alan Gratz, Code of Honor