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“Ok. Listen. I not know where all you morons come from but holy water no hurt Bigfoot. Garlic and Crucifix also no. Fire, Pitchfork, Silver Bullet OK. Cryptonite do nothing. It not even real. Please stop sending letters asking "What you vulnerability? What Bigfoot?" Like I tell. What next me bank account number? Why not you invest time in moving out of parent basement? Maybe have sex or something. Yes I be talking to you Steve. Youuu! Stalking is a crime Steve.”
― In Me Own Words: The Autobiography of Bigfoot
― In Me Own Words: The Autobiography of Bigfoot
“It true, Bigfoot career been in hole lately. Bigfoot mania of the ‘70’s and ‘80’s but distant memory. I famous for ability to not be see but don’t think I not notice you not notice. I blame music television and internet. People too lazy and stupid to appreciate conceptual artist like Bigfoot who appeal is absence.”
― Me Write Book: It Bigfoot Memoir
― Me Write Book: It Bigfoot Memoir
“Success, after all, loves a witness, but failure can't exist without one.”
― The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao
― The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao
“It was a blonde. A blonde to make a bishop kick a hole in a stained-glass window.”
― Farewell, My Lovely
― Farewell, My Lovely
“But I had not the strength nor the inclination to bandy words with a drunkard. What have you done when you have bested a fool?”
― True Grit
― True Grit
Daily Show / Colbert Report / Nightly Show / The Opposition
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— last activity Jul 30, 2026 08:26PM
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