Ann Venables

“Money's scarce
Times are hard
Here's your fucking
Xmas card”
― Phyllis Diller

“Unless we make Christmas an occasion to share our blessings, all the snow in Alaska won't make it 'white'.”
― Bing Crosby

“In the old days, it was not called the Holiday Season; the Christians called it 'Christmas' and went to church; the Jews called it 'Hanukkah' and went to synagogue; the atheists went to parties and drank. People passing each other on the street would say 'Merry Christmas!' or 'Happy Hanukkah!' or (to the atheists) 'Look out for the wall!”
― Dave Barry

“He who has not Christmas in his heart will never find it under a tree.”
― Roy L. Smith