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“Just because something is traditional is no reason to do it, of course. Piracy, for example, is a tradition that has been carried on for hundreds of years, but that doesn’t mean we should all attack ships and steal their gold.”
― Lemony Snicket, The Austere Academy

“Look at this. A barstool, named Sven? Some old Swedish custom, the winter kicks in, weather gets harsh, after a while you find yourself relating to the furniture in ways you didn't expect?”
― Thomas Pynchon, Bleeding Edge

“Shyness is a curious thing, because, like quicksand, it can strike people at any time, and also, like quicksand, it usually makes its victims look down.”
― Lemony Snicket, Horseradish: Bitter Truths You Can't Avoid

“Bigfoot was interviewed on The Patty Winters Show this morning and to my shock I found him surprisingly articulate and charming.”
― Bret Easton Ellis, American Psycho