Melissa

“My point of view is this: If you like root-beer floats so much, have one on Monday, another on Tuesday, and a third on Wednesday.”
― Dean Koontz, Odd Thomas

“Arthur prodded the mattress nervously and then sat on it himself: in fact he had very little to be nervous about, because all mattresses grown in the swamps of Sqornshellous Zeta are very thoroughly killed and dried before being put to service. Very few have ever come to life again.”
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

“From all these friends, I could not escape learning some of the statistics that I preferred not to know. Forty-one people at the mall had been wounded. Nineteen had died.
Everyone said it was a miracle that only nineteen perished.
What has gone wrong with our world when nineteen dead can seem like any kind of miracle?”
― Dean Koontz, Odd Thomas

“So you need an alarm system because you gonna be in bad neighborhoods?"
"Actually, I sort of stole a car, and I'm afraid the owner will try to get it back.”
― Janet Evanovich, One for the Money