Cara

“On Packing My Own Lunch

You have to pack a sandwich. It can't just be cookies and bullshit....No, I said if you packed it yourself, you could pack it how you want it, not pack it like a moron.”
― Justin Halpern, Sh*t My Dad Says

“On Sharing
“I’m sorry, but if your brother doesn’t want you to play with his shit, then you can’t play with it. It’s his shit. If he wants to be an asshole and not share, then that’s his right. You always have the right to be an asshole—you just shouldn’t use that right very often.”
― Justin Halpern, Sh*t My Dad Says

“On Yard Work
"What are you doing with that rake?... No, that is not raking.... What? Different styles of raking? No there is one style, and then there's bullshit. Guess which one you're doing.”
― Justin Halpern, Sh*t My Dad Says

“On Receiving Straight As on My Report Card “Hot damn! You’re a smart kid—I don’t care what people say about you!…I’m kidding, nobody says you’re not smart. They say other stuff, but not that.”
― Justin Halpern, Sh*t My Dad Says