“hope that he will not know pain or betrayal or disappointment, but of course he will, because he’s alive and that’s the price we pay.”
― The Elements
― The Elements
“You know people say the opposite of fear is desire, where we presumably run away from what we fear and toward what we desire. But fear and desire are more complicated than that. There’s fear at the heart of every desire and desire at the heart of fear. So I wonder, by desiring Taymour, what exactly are you afraid of?”
―
―
“Do you think I’m too Westernized?” I asked Leila as we walked back home from the library.
“What do you mean?”
“This guy, Sufyan, says I’m too Westernized.”
“The American guy? You’re letting an American guy tell you whether you’re Arab enough?”
“He’s originally Arab —” I began.
“Oh please. Arab Americans are even worse than white people. They look at you like they know you, as if they have an idea of what you’re like from stereotypes and their parents’ ancient memories. And when you don’t conform to their image it terrifies them, because they wear their Arab culture like window dressing but underneath they are as white as snow.”
―
“What do you mean?”
“This guy, Sufyan, says I’m too Westernized.”
“The American guy? You’re letting an American guy tell you whether you’re Arab enough?”
“He’s originally Arab —” I began.
“Oh please. Arab Americans are even worse than white people. They look at you like they know you, as if they have an idea of what you’re like from stereotypes and their parents’ ancient memories. And when you don’t conform to their image it terrifies them, because they wear their Arab culture like window dressing but underneath they are as white as snow.”
―
“I suppose it’s a cliché to say you’re glad to be alive, that life is short, but to say you’re glad to be not dead requires a specific intimacy with loss that comes only with age or deep experience. One has to know not simply what dying is like, but to know death itself, in all its absoluteness. After all, there are many ways to die—peacefully, violently, suddenly, slowly, happily, unhappily, too soon. But to be dead—one either is or isn’t. The same cannot be said of aliveness, of which there are countless degrees. One can be alive but half-asleep or half-noticing as the years fly, no matter how fully oxygenated the blood and brain or how steadily the heart beats. Fortunately, this is a reversible condition. One can learn to be alert to the extraordinary and press pause—to memorize moments of the everyday.”
― Insomniac City: New York, Oliver, and Me
― Insomniac City: New York, Oliver, and Me
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