Faried Nawaz

“Nasruddin was once called up to visit the king. A neighbor saw him hurrying along the road carrying a bag of turnips. “What are those for?” he asked. “I’ve been called to see the king. I thought it would be best to bring some kind of present.” “You’re bringing him turnips? But turnips are peasant food! He’s a king! You should bring him something more appropriate, like grapes.” Nasruddin agreed, and came to the king carrying a bunch of grapes. The king was not amused. “You’re giving me grapes? But I’m a king! This is ridiculous. Take this idiot out and teach him some manners! Throw each and every one of the grapes at him and then kick him out of the palace.” The emperor’s guards dragged Nasruddin into a side room and began pelting him with grapes. As they did so, he fell on his knees and began crying, “Thank you, thank you God, for your infinite mercy!” “Why are you thanking God?” they asked. “You’re being totally humiliated!” Nasruddin replied, “Oh, I was just thinking, ‘Thank God I didn’t bring the turnips!’ ”
― David Graeber, Debt: The First 5,000 Years

“There’s something within the human mind that is attracted to straight lines and not curves”
― Donella H. Meadows, Thinking in Systems: A Primer

“The same was true in Rome, where for a very long time Roman citizens not only paid no taxes but had a right to a share of the tribute levied on others, in the form of the dole—the “bread” part of the famous “bread and circuses.”53”
― David Graeber, Debt: The First 5,000 Years

“Hey! Raster!” Raster is so glad to be wanted that he does figure eights around the screen. “Calculator!” I shout. “No need, boss! Simply tell me your desired calculation, and I will do it in my head!” So I have a most tedious conversation with Raster, in which I estimate the number of cubic feet in Soldier Field, rounded to the nearest foot. I ask Raster to multiply that by 24,808 and he shoots back: 537,824,167,717. A nongeek wouldn’t have thought twice. But I say, “Raster, you have Spam for brains. It should be an exact multiple of eight!” Evidently my brother’s new box came with one of those defective chips that makes errors when the numbers get really big.”
― Jared Shurin, The Big Book of Cyberpunk