“For a few hours, I'd gotten to feel all the freedom, the confidence, and the sense of acceptance that my mother had wanted for me. I just had to stop being me to do it.”
― Viewfinder: A Memoir of Seeing and Being Seen
― Viewfinder: A Memoir of Seeing and Being Seen
“You can dismiss it as an adlescent enthusiasm, but youthful passions leave a mark.”
― Viewfinder: A Memoir of Seeing and Being Seen
― Viewfinder: A Memoir of Seeing and Being Seen
“In short: Did I still believe in myself? The question was stark, but it wasn't simple. It turns out that if you want to change your life and reach a dream that seems to be receding beyond the horizon, then the question isn't something you answer only once. It's with you every morning. It's with you every night. The world is going to ask it and keep asking it. And every time it does, you have to give the same answer. And that answer has to be true- there's no lying.”
― Viewfinder: A Memoir of Seeing and Being Seen
― Viewfinder: A Memoir of Seeing and Being Seen
“How strange to feel something so close to mercy, whatever that was, and stranger still that it should be found in here of all places, at the end of a road of ruined houses by a toxic river. That among a pile of salvaged trash, he would come closest to all he ever wanted to be: a consciousness sitting under a light-bulb reading his days away, warm and alone, alone and yet, somehow, still somebody's son.”
― The Emperor of Gladness
― The Emperor of Gladness
“I had let my life become a story. Degradation was a theme, and rivalry, ecstasy, submission, happenstance. The only moral was the pressure f her hands, the grip of leather tugging at my wrist where the cuffs that were her birthday gift to me etched sallow, scar-like creases in the flesh..... Maybe that's why I felt most free when I was choked and tied with cables to the bed; when bound and gagged; when told that I was very, very bad.”
― Couplets
― Couplets
Alecander’s 2025 Year in Books
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