Marie-Therese

“Do you mind living alone?” she asked. “I’ve tried it both ways,” he replied, “and I know it can be a letdown to come home to an empty apartment, but now I have the Siamese to greet me at the door. They’re good companions; they need me; they’re always happy to see me come home. On the other hand, they’re always glad to see me go out—one of the things that cats do to keep a person from feeling too important.”
― Lilian Jackson Braun, The Cat Who Moved a Mountain

“My father despises cats. He believes them to be Democrats. He considers them to be little mean hillary clintons covered all over with feminist legfur. Cats would have abortions, if given half a chance. Cats would have abortions for fun. Consequently our own soft sinner, a soulful snowshoe named Alice, will stay shut in the bedroom upstairs, padding back and forth on cashmere paws, campaigning for equal pay, educating me about my reproductive system, and generally plotting the downfall of all men.”
― Patricia Lockwood, Priestdaddy

“WARNING smiling muscle woman will strangle you to death”
― Yukiko Motoya, The Lonesome Bodybuilder

“Of course, there’s likely to be the occasional jeer or heckle from an insensitive bystander, pointing out that your lover is a bicycle saddle, but let this minor obstacle only stoke the flames of your love. Your partner will no doubt be prepared to be swung as hard as it takes to protect your honor. More important, most human men are no match for his manliness in bed.”
― Yukiko Motoya, The Lonesome Bodybuilder