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dillycat

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The Martian

by Andy Weir (Goodreads Author)

bookshelves: owned, audiobook, currently-reading

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2 hours, 35 min ago

dillycat is currently reading

We So Seldom Look on Love

by Barbara Gowdy

bookshelves: currently-reading

Reading for the 2nd time

read in June 2026

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dillycat said:

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.

" To preface: I had no plans to review or rate anything on here when I made this account, only intended to tracks books I have read. I don't even want to track the pages while reading, just log what I am reading and then move it the read shelf when fin To preface: I had no plans to review or rate anything on here when I made this account, only intended to tracks books I have read. I don't even want to track the pages while reading, just log what I am reading and then move it the read shelf when finished. however, i have decided that I will review when I do have something to say.

And so, here we are #Storytime. It will be a ramble. Some spoilers, but nothing that I think detracts from the actual enjoyment of the story unless you prefer completely spoiler-free.

Trigger warnings in this: heavy emphasis on disturbing subject matter and description of necrophilia, death, sexuality, and suicide. With the tone and language used, it's not as horrific as it sounds, but I really do not recommend this one for people who cannot stomach those topics.

I may have actually just made this account because I watched the movie Kissed (1996) recently, to which I had an unexpected reaction that I was so taken aback by. And then I realized that I actually think it was a near perfect movie for my particular niche interests in fiction. And then I learned there was a short story. So this might be a review of both, technically, but will focus on the short story. I believe they are companion pieces that are different in the right ways, but both give insight to a more complex discussion, and therefore necessary to talk about as a pair. (There will be no movie spoilers beyond what the short story already alludes to.)

I bought the ebook for this because it was unavailable at the library, but I felt that I needed to read it as soon as possible or else [horrific symptoms of fixations caused by various auDHD related traits]. I really hate having to explain to people what my new favourite movie is about and I do not recommend it for the majority of my friends who cannot stomach the implication of necrophilia, even though it is not shown in gruesome detail. I am SO sorry to my friends who are now learning that I am fixated on a story about this, if you are are reading this review. I said this in my nonsensical movie review on letterboxd as well: if you never take my recommendations ever again because of this, I COMPLETELY understand.

For transparency, I did skip to the titular story immediately, which I normally wouldn't do. We have not, but will return to the others later, just wanted to express my feelings with this first, since it's such a strong one.

This is a story about a necrophile. But also it's not. I'll just get to it and say what I already say about too many things, but this is a story about a CLOSETED LESBIAN, hiding a sexual desire that the world believes is "inhumane", forcing herself into a heteronormative relationship because she finds one man who does not outright judge or shame her, instead trying desperately to understand things that are not meant for him. Am I projecting the dyke agenda onto everything I find? Probably, sure. Likely themes for me to care about.

Similar to the film's protagonist (called Sandra, but I believe the protagonist here is not named), The Narrator speaks affectionately about her lust, in spite of morality. She describes her encounters like they are secret romantic trysts. As far as we know, she never fucks the same cadaver twice, but she speaks as if she's fallen in love with every one of them. If you didn't know any better, you'd think it was a love story. Matt cannot understand her, but he is desperate to know. The Narrator insists it is not for him and constantly tries to keep it away from him. She still continues to see him, as if forcing herself to conform to an acceptable dynamic, knowing she cannot have it all truly, but playing with it, out of curiosity or a need to be accepted. The Narrator imagines herself as a cadaver while having sex with Matt, though her real desire is to be alive next to the dead. It will never be what she really wants, and she knows it will always be seen as a monstrous act against nature to live freely. Her first lesson was with #FemaleFriend whom she trusted intimately, as semi-platonic teenage girls often do. Clearly, it does not work out between The Narrator and her former Girl Best Friend Carol, of course. I'm sure that anyone who has #TheVision will know it needs no further explanation.

As for The Narrator, she speaks so poetically about vile acts that you hear her yearning and loneliness. You almost want her to get away with it all just to stall. The short story and the film never hesitate to remind us what she is violating, but they also never ask us to forgive or condone it. While absorbing her inner thoughts, it is tempting to be more empathetic than disgusted — this may be the only affection she is ever capable of. You have to wonder if it's cruel to deprive her of that. She does not see herself like her boss who fucks the cadavers like a pervert, or the janitor who represses his nature through religious beliefs. She does not believe she is wrong. It's hard to not want to believe that too when you see how she interacts with the world, lonely and floating through it.

Matt almost gets close to understanding, but not quite. His obsession with the narrator mirrors her obsession with corpses — deeply affectionate, but desperate, questionable, and bordering on an unspoken violence. His desire for her evolves into stalking, analyzing, constantly asking her to explain it again until he understands. It does not reach him when he is told it is not meant for him to understand The Narrator's feelings, but just to accept them. Matt still thinks he could fulfill the same need if he just tries hard enough. He could be the exception if she gave him a chance to try. (Sounds familiar? Wonder what that could be!) The Narrator continues their relationship, despite constantly reminding both Matt and the reader that she never will.

One of my favourite lines from the film, I am glad was also in this story: “You’re drafting personalities onto corpses in order to have power over them.” Matt says this as if he couldn't possibly do the same to her or any other woman, living or dead. It's hypocritical. He already believes he can understand something about The Narrator that she denies him. His questions may be more curious than judgmental, perhaps more than she could find in anyone else, but what really gives him any right to know the desire or experience he keeps asking for? How genuine is this love he keeps declaring as the root of his obsessing? Is it all acceptable just because he does not punish The Narrator? But isn't his presence in her life punishment enough?

I think The Narrator is much easier to understand in a way, just because we read her direct perspective and innermost thoughts. Matt is secondary to her, but almost more perplexing to me because despite what he represents, his desperate affection feels easy to romanticize. He wants to be Romeo, but The Narrator could never be Juliet. Both are people I would despite and considering disgusting if I knew they were real, yet I feel a sadness for them throughout this. I think that is exactly what makes this story so challenging, so engaging, and why I cannot stop thinking about it.

I hesitate to consider this a favourite because of what it all implies, but I think it might be. Sorry for that 3 ...more "

Jun 10, 2026 07:24PM · see review