Felipe

“We can't form proper relationships until we have the capacity to be alone and be comfortable with ourselves. And, the more comfortable we can be alone - which is different from being lonely, by the way - the more capacity to be with yourself and to ground yourself in your own truth, the more likely we are able to form meaningful and positive relationships.

A lot of people run into relationships to solve their problems, then there's the initial 'in-love phase' where everything is just ideal, and then reality hits. And then all of a sudden that person who you're so infatuated with becomes your enemy and you hate them so much.

I've experienced such hatred for my wife over the years when I've been disappointed or dissatisfied. Because I was looking to her to fill me. And nobody can fill you from the outside. So once you are no longer dependent on it, then you can enter into a healthy relationship.

Or.. to put it more positively, a relationship can be a real ground for mutual growth. So you can enter into a relationship.. you're not going to be perfect, carry a certain degree of trauma, a certain degree of dysfunction, etc. But if both people are committed to the truth more than "who's right" and working it out and if the fundamental love is there, then you can grow together.”
― Gabor Maté