Kristin

“Pervy and redundant, don't you think?" I asked the big gay cop, who wouldn't know a va-jay-jay if it bounced up to him and sang the "Star-Spangled Banner." (You ever notice that hardly anything besides the "Star-Spangled Banner" is spangled? There's no, like, the Raisin-Spangled Scone, or the Flea-Spangled Beagle. I'm just saying.)
--Being the Journal of Abby Normal”
― Christopher Moore, Bite Me

“Only by being prepared for your death can you ever truly live. ”
― Christopher Moore, A Dirty Job

“And an inky-colored despair of rejection enveloped me like the black tortilla of depression around a pain burrito.”
― Christopher Moore, Bite Me

“Charlie noted that more and more lately, he had a hard time resisting the urge to fuck with people, especially when they insisted upon behaving like idiots.”
― Christopher Moore, A Dirty Job