Darlene M Doyle

“Your tits are like Bounty. The quicker dick picker upper.”
― Tara Sivec, Seduction and Snacks

“If only he would keep his mouth shut, he'd be perfect. A piece of duct tape would do the trick. I had some in my desk that I'd occasionally pull out and fondle, hoping someday I could put it to good use.”
― Christina Lauren, Beautiful Bastard

“I am plenty romantic. Just this morning while he slept, I had left Carter a box of his favorite candy next to his pillow - Globs: piles of white chocolate covered, crushed potato chips and pretzels drizzled with caramel. I figured it would soften him up to the note I placed next to the box telling him if he left the toilet seat up one more time and my ass got an involuntary bath at six in the morning, I would put super glue on the head of his penis while he slept. I had even signed the note with a couple of Xs and Os. Who says romance is dead?”
― Tara Sivec, Futures and Frosting

“For some sick reason, fighting with this woman always ended with her panties in my pocket.”
― Christina Lauren, Beautiful Bastard