Mary
https://www.goodreads.com/mkamericanhero
“STAY MINDFULLY CLOSE to the sensations of early grief because it is a memorial to the raw pain so ubiquitous in the newly bereaved; I find that my attention to it directs and intensifies my sense of what I think of as fierce compassion. Fierce compassion is another artifact of fully inhabited grief.”
― Bearing the Unbearable: Love, Loss, and the Heartbreaking Path of Grief
― Bearing the Unbearable: Love, Loss, and the Heartbreaking Path of Grief
“That’s really all they ask of us—our parents; our lovers, husbands, and wives; our children and dear friends. That we carry them gently in our lives as they carried us in theirs. Not with crushing sadness, for they do not wish such weight upon us. But with lightness and warmth. God bless them for the memories they left for us that make carrying them with joy possible. The wisdom and love they bequeathed us. The joy and comfort they brought to us as they carried us through life so that now we might carry them forever in our hearts—without bitterness, without crushing sadness. When someone has loved us well and long, we need not buckle beneath the weight of sorrow. Instead, we can carry them with us with gratitude, completeness, and joy.”
― The Beauty of What Remains: How Our Greatest Fear Becomes Our Greatest Gift
― The Beauty of What Remains: How Our Greatest Fear Becomes Our Greatest Gift
“Whatever comes, we let it be as it is. When we do this, we come to see, in this moment or the next, our emotions always moving. The word emotion has its roots in the Latin movere and emovere meaning "to move through" and "to move out". Our emotions move in us, move through us and move between us.And when we allows them to move freely, they change, perhaps scarcely and perhaps gradually - but inevitably.
This is grief's most piercing message: there is no way arounf - the only way in through.”
― Bearing the Unbearable: Love, Loss, and the Heartbreaking Path of Grief
This is grief's most piercing message: there is no way arounf - the only way in through.”
― Bearing the Unbearable: Love, Loss, and the Heartbreaking Path of Grief
“The tragedy of life is linked inescapably with its splendor; you could tear civilization down and rebuild it from scratch, and the same dualities would rise again. Yet to fully inhabit these dualities—the dark as well as the light—is, paradoxically, the only way to transcend them. And transcending them is the ultimate point. The bittersweet is about the desire for communion, the wish to go home.”
― Bittersweet: How Sorrow and Longing Make Us Whole
― Bittersweet: How Sorrow and Longing Make Us Whole
“They tell you that if you're assaulted, there's a kingdom, a courthouse, high up on a mountain where justice can be found. Most victims are turned away at the base of the mountain, told they don't have enough evidence to make the journey. Some victims sacrifice everything to make the climb, but are slain along the way, the burden of proof impossibly high. I set off, accompanied by a strong team, who helped carry the weight, until I made it, the summit, the place few victims reached, the promised land. We'd gotten an arrest, a guilty verdict, the small percentage that gets a conviction. It was time to see what justice looked like. We threw open the doors, and there was nothing. It took the breath out of me. Even worse was looking back down to the bottom of the mountain, where I imagined expectant victims looking up, waving cheering, expectantly. What do you see? What does it feel like? What happens when you arrive? What could I tell them? A system does not exist for you. The pain of this process couldn't be worth it. These crimes are not crimes but inconveniences. You can fight and fight and for what? When you are assaulted, run and never look back. This was not one bad sentence. This was the best we could hope for.”
― Know My Name
― Know My Name
Mary’s 2025 Year in Books
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