Tanya

“I won't put in a load of laundry, because the machine is too loud and would drown out other, more significant noises - namely, the shuffling footsteps of the living dead.”
― David Sedaris, Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim

“It is funny the things that run through your mind when you're sitting in your underpants in front of a pair of strangers.”
― David Sedaris, When You Are Engulfed in Flames

“I find it ridiculous to assign a gender to an inanimate object incapable of disrobing and making an occasional fool of itself.”
― David Sedaris, Me Talk Pretty One Day

“The Voice

There is a voice inside of you
That whispers all day long,
"I feel this is right for me,
I know that this is wrong."
No teacher, preacher, parent, friend
Or wise man can decide
What's right for you--just listen to
The voice that speaks inside.”
― Shel Silverstein