Autumn

“Why do people kill themselves?

I think they do it when they can no longer find a reason to keep going. When nothing in heir lives is good enough to balance out the bad. And they do it when they no longer have the courage to carry on past some recent painful experience. They commit what is, in the end, a desperate, final call for help, that is hopefully heard in time by someone else.

And what if it's not heard in time? I ask although I know the answer.

Then they die.”
― Mary Beth Miller, Aimee

“I'd spend about an hour, my room darkening around me, wondering what the hell happened to make me so unsure of who I even was. Because who you are is supposed to be the easiest question in the world to answer, right? Only for me it hadn't been easy for a very long time.”
― Jennifer Brown, Hate List

“Suicide. It's something I've been thinking about. Not too seriously, but I have been thinking about it.”

That's the note. Word for word. And I know it's word for word because I wrote it dozens of times before delivering it. I'd write it, throw it away, write it, crumple it up, throw it away.

But why was I writing it to begin with? I asked myself that question every time I printed the words onto a new sheet of paper. Why was I writing this note? It was a lie. I hadn't been thinking about it. Not really. Not in detail. The thought would come into my head and I'd push it away.

But I pushed it away a lot.”
― Jay Asher, Thirteen Reasons Why

“A belief is not merely an idea the mind possesses; it is an idea that possesses the mind”
― Robert Bolton (inventor). Ransford