May

“Two minutes and fourteen seconds later, he’d somehow gotten trapped in a black hole on a site called Tumblr that led to porn of a most enthusiastic variety, if the faces of the six people on the screen had any measure. Gus may have shrieked slightly when one of the pornographic actors, a large Caucasian male with exuberant-looking nipples, glared at one of the females, gave a cocky smirk, and said, “I’m gonna get yo mouth pregnant.” Gus slammed the computer shut just as the large pornographic actor began to do just that. For the next four minutes and seventeen seconds, he stood in his kitchen, rocking back and forth, moaning, “But you can’t get her mouth pregnant, you just can’t.”
― T.J. Klune, How to Be a Normal Person

“He put his finger guns away. He should not be allowed to carry weapons of mass humiliation.”
― T.J. Klune, How to Be a Normal Person

“Life is alphabet soup, Elizabeth. Eat that soup.” ***”
― Penny Reid, Friends Without Benefits

“Why do I need to be defined as anything? Why can’t I just be who I am without some asshole trying to make me into something I’m not?”
― T.J. Klune, How to Be a Normal Person