Shay

“Never trust a man with a penis.”
― Darynda Jones, Third Grave Dead Ahead

“I haven’t been avoiding you,”

“You’re lying. The last time we were both at dinner, you got up in the middle of Mom’s fajita presentation and said you forgot to feed your cat.”

Uh-oh.

“So?”

“You don’t have a cat.”
― Kristen Ashley, Rock Chick

“Oh, I forgot to tell you," Cookie said. "Amber wants your dad to get a teriyaki machine so she can sing for all the lonely barflies."

"I'm a good singer, mom."

Only a twelve-year-old could make the word mom sound blasphemous.

I leaned into Cookie, "Does she know its not called--?"

"No," she whispered.

"Are you gonna tell her?"


"No. It's much funnier this way.”
― Darynda Jones, First Grave on the Right