Ira Perkins

“Coffee Shop Author Kit. Alcoholism and crippling self-doubt not included. So you want to be a writer. It started with sappy poetry in middle school. You soon graduated to Naruto fan-fiction. By the time you crash landed face-first into adulthood, your brain swelled with the misguided notion that your shitty novel with a self-insert protagonist sporting a traumatic childhood would change the world. Spoiler alert. Nobody is going to read your autobiography disguised as a space vampire and minotaur romance. You and every other half-wit out there with a nearby Starbucks and a laptop is writing the same bile. What you’re really doing is inadvertently live-blogging the story of human mediocrity, and the universe is now a better place that the Syndicate has put a stop to it all.”
― Matt Dinniman, The Gate of the Feral Gods