Jason

“Are you kidding? You just told her that an invisible man who tells you to kill people just showed up when you didn’t want him to.” “Not one of our smoothest interactions,” Tobias agreed.”
― Brandon Sanderson, Skin Deep

“Never throw the first punch. If you have to throw the second, try to make sure they don't get up for a third.”
― Brandon Sanderson, Steelheart

“Boys, welcome to the wonderful world of talking to women about their feelings. As a handy primer, here are a few things you should know:

1) Women have feelings.
2) You will spend the next seventy years or so trying to guess what they're feeling and why.
3) You will be wrong most of the time.
4) I like French Fries.”
― Brandon Sanderson, Alcatraz Versus the Shattered Lens

“My dear, have you ever known me to make an inflammatorily ridiculous statement without providing an equally ridiculous explanation to substantiate it?”

“Of course not,” she agreed. “You are nothing if not exhaustive in your self-congratulatory made-up logic.”
― Brandon Sanderson, Warbreaker