bret Johnson

“In my handbag I always carry a small crocheted turd so that I never have to take any shit, because I’ve already got one.”
― Sarah Millican, How to be Champion: My Autobiography

“I hate weddings. Weddings are nothing more than catering with virgins. Sorry, in the old days it was virgins; now it’s baby mommas.”
― Joan Rivers, I Hate Everyone...Starting with Me

“There’s something about depression that allows you (or sometimes forces you) to explore depths of emotion that most “normal” people could never conceive of.”
― Jenny Lawson, Furiously Happy: A Funny Book About Horrible Things

“We have seen the human mind slowly abandon the traditions of law based upon revelation, to seek ethical truths through reason; and a way of life based upon respect for the physical and the spiritual as perceived by all human beings. “And with this loss of respect for supernatural intervention; with this credulity of all things divorced from the flesh, has come the most enlightened age of all; for men and women seek for the highest inspiration not in the realm of the invisible, but in the realm of the human—the thing which is both flesh and spirit; invisible and visible; earthly and transcendent.”
― Anne Rice, The Queen of the Damned