WhiskeyintheJar

“She smiled sweetly. “I bet you jack off with your pinkie stuck up in the air, don’t you?”
His smirking lips twitched, faint and quick as a flea sneezing. “Picture it however you like.”
― Cara McKenna, Give It All

“Sebastian, who had begun to laugh, seemed struck by that last comment. “Ahhh,” he said softly. “That explains it.” He was silent for a moment, lost in some distant, pleasurable memory. “Dangerous creatures, wallflowers. Approach them with the utmost caution. They sit quietly in corners, appearing abandoned and forlorn, when in truth they’re sirens who lure men to their downfall. You won’t even notice the moment she steals the heart right out of your body—and then it’s hers for good. A wallflower never gives your heart back.” “Are you finished amusing yourself?” Gabriel asked, impatient with his father’s flight of fancy.”
― Lisa Kleypas, Devil in Spring

“When he pulled away from the kiss, he pressed his forehead to hers, still holding her. "Nothing's going to happen to you as long as I'm drawing breath, Buttercup."
"Gosh. I bet you say that to all the computer nerds."
He grinned. "Nah. Just the ones who smell good and wear my hickeys on their breasts.”
― Cindy Gerard, Running Blind

“At best she’s a scrawny, hollow-eyed croneling.” “Croneling?” John tilted his head in perplexity. “Croneling. Noun. One who has yet to achieve cronehood. The adolescent phase of the British crone,” Avery lectured.”
― Connie Brockway, My Dearest Enemy: A Novel