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His Banana
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by Penelope Bloom (Goodreads Author)
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Book cover for Dirty Headlines
She said a lonely heart—such as my lonely heart—would never fall in love, and so far, she wasn’t wrong. Maybe that’s why tonight happened.
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Alice Clayton
“Thump
“Oh, God”
Thump Thump

Unbelievable…

I woke up faster this time, because I knew what I was hearing I sat up in bed, glaring behind me. The bed was still pulled safely away from the wall, so I felt no movement. But there sure as hell something moving over there.

Then I heard ……hissing?
I looked down at Clive, whose tail was at full puff. He arched his back and paced back and forth at the foot of the bed.

“Hey, mister. It’s cool. We just got a noisy neighbor, that’s all,” I soothed, stretching my hand out to him. That’s when I heard it. “Meow”
I cocked my head sideways, listening more intently. I studied Clive, who looked back at me as if to say “T’weren’t me”.
“Meow! Oh, God. Me -Yow!”
The girl next door was meowing. What in the world was my neighbor packing to make that happen?
Clive, at this point, went utterly bonkers and launched himself at the wall. He was literally climbing it, trying to get where the noise was coming from, and adding his own meows to the chorus.

“Oooh yes, just like that, Simon…Mmmm….Meow, meow, Meow!”

Sweet Lord, there were out-of-control pussies on both sides of this wall tonight.”
Alice Clayton , Wallbanger

H.M. Ward
“He's not a pet. He's an accident victim.”
H.M. Ward, Damaged 2

Alice Clayton
“Fucking Wallbanger,” I hissed, frozed on the spot.
His grin slid off as well as he played place-the-face for a moment. “Fucking Pink Nightie Girl.”
Alice Clayton, Wallbanger

Alice Clayton
“Get your ass over here right now, you motherfucking scary movie pusher.”
Alice Clayton, Wallbanger

H.M. Ward
“Bad days call for foods that are bad for your butt.”
H.M. Ward, Damaged

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