Maaike

“At first, I could lie about my lack of sleep and she'd fall for it, but she started suspecting insomnia when I began seeing purple elephants in the air vents at the office. I knew I shouldn't have asked her about them. I thought maybe she'd redecorated.”
― Darynda Jones, Third Grave Dead Ahead

“If I’m upset, hold me and tell me how beautiful I am.

If I growl, retreat to a safe distance and throw chocolate.

— BEST. ADVICE. EVER.”
― Darynda Jones, Seventh Grave and No Body

“Eleanor Krautz pushed her way through the crowd and stage-whispered to Grandma, "Who's the hottie with your granddaughter?"

"That's Ranger," Grandma stage-whispered back at Eleanor. "I don't think Stephanie knows what to do with him."

"I'd know what to do with him," Eleanor said.

"Jeez Louise," I said. "We can hear this conversation."

Ranger looked down at me. "I could make suggestions if you're really in the dark.”
― Janet Evanovich, Takedown Twenty

“I have seen things. Awful things. Empty coffee cup things.”
― Darynda Jones, The Dirt on Ninth Grave