Emily

“Redemption, n. Deliverance of sinners from the penalty of their sin through their murder of the deity against whom they sinned. The doctrine of Redemption is the fundamental mystery of our holy religions, and whoso believeth in it shall not perish, but have everlasting life in which to try to understand it.”
― Ambrose Bierce, The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary

“I had been fed, in my youth, a lot of old wives' tales about the way men would instantly forsake a beautiful woman to flock around a brilliant one. It is but fair to say that, after getting out in the world, I had never seen this happen."

[From a column dated November 17, 1928]”
― Dorothy Parker, Constant Reader: 2

“All sorrows are less with bread. ”
― Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra

“The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.”
― Ambrose Bierce