Stine

“If you are irritated by every rub, how will your mirror be polished?”
― Rumi

“I am your sire. I am to guide you through your first days as a vampire. Your first feeding is a rite of passage, a sacrament. It will not be wasted on some hormone-driven frenzy. This is why I wanted you to feed from me.”
“I will not drink it in a house, I will not drink it with a mouse. I will not drink it here or there, I will not drink it anywhere,” I wheezed, hoping I was able to communicate adequate sarcasm through the crippling belly cramps.
“Did you just quote Green Eggs and Ham?”
― Molly Harper, Nice Girls Don't Have Fangs

“Why is it that all cars are women?" he asked.

"Because they're fussy and demanding," answered Zee.

"Because if they were men, they'd sit around and complain instead of getting the job done," I told him.”
― Patricia Briggs, Silver Borne

“I don't like it when I outweigh my men.”
― Patricia Briggs, Moon Called