Michelle

“Being a woman is worse than being a farmer there is so much harvesting and crop spraying to be done: legs to be waxed, underarms shaved, eyebrows plucked, feet pumiced, skin exfoliated and moisturised, spots cleansed, roots dyed, eyelashes tinted, nails filed, cellulite massaged, stomach muscles exercised.

The whole performance is so highly tuned you only need to neglect it for a few days for the whole thing to go to seed. Sometimes I wonder what I would be like if left to revert to nature — with a full beard and handlebar moustache on each shin Dennis Healey eyebrows face a graveyard of dead skin cells spots erupting long curly fingernails like Struwelpeter blind as bat and stupid runt of species as no contact lenses flabby body flobbering around. Ugh ugh. Is it any wonder girls have no confidence?”
― Helen Fielding, Bridget Jones’s Diary

“I will not be defeated by a bad man and an American stick insect...instead I choose Chaka Khan...and vodka... Bridget Jones”
― Helen Fielding, Bridget Jones’s Diary

“It would never do for me to lose my wits in the presence of a man who had none too many of his own.”
― Anna Katharine Green, That Affair Next Door

“Everything will be alright in the end so if it is not alright it is not the end.”
― Deborah Moggach, The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel