“What’s it like to be us? Too much. We feel too much. React too much. Say too much. Need too much. So says the world. I say: the world is wrong. There is an exquisite trade-off for a life so differently led: complex imagination, limitless curiosity, profound compassion, and restless independent thought. They are the core of everything I am. They will be responsible for whatever legacy I leave behind.”
― Autism in Heels: The Untold Story of a Female Life on the Spectrum
― Autism in Heels: The Untold Story of a Female Life on the Spectrum
“There are few things as tragic as when we tacitly agree to the notion that our unchangeable truth is somehow invalid. Less than. Broken. Wrong. That pretending is necessary for professional opportunity or personal acceptance. I’ve done it a million times in ways large and small, and I can tell you this: trying to hide in plain sight is frustrating, disorienting, isolating—an exhausting game of (only possible) short-term gains in exchange for very-certain long-term exclusion. When we agree to play, we not only hide and cast doubt upon our experiences. We’ve willingly participated in the invalidation of ourselves.”
― Autism in Heels: The Untold Story of a Female Life on the Spectrum
― Autism in Heels: The Untold Story of a Female Life on the Spectrum
“Over the years, they’ve all felt, believed, or said that I was too smart to be so … irresponsible, clueless, inept. And when you hear something often enough from enough people in enough places, you believe it. I certainly did. No matter how hard I’ve tried to dot each i and cross each t, I’ve so often managed to screw up the simple stuff with no better idea of how to prevent another disaster. Humiliated, hurt, and lonely, I felt caught in a hamster wheel, futilely running as hard as I could without actually making progress. Defending my heart again. My character again. Hopelessly explaining myself, again, until even I became sick of my voice.”
― Autism in Heels: The Untold Story of a Female Life on the Spectrum
― Autism in Heels: The Untold Story of a Female Life on the Spectrum
“The most common hit I get is the cringeworthy “You’re autistic? Well, you must be very high-functioning.” Sigh. I understand what they’re trying to say. Really, I do. They mean to be kind. The implication is “I don’t see many—if any—of the clearly debilitating characteristics I associate with autism when I talk to you. So, good on you. You’re not bad off!” Only that’s not a compliment at all. It’s a comparison based on the premise that “autistic” is an insult. A stigma. Or at least a bad thing. Because the only reason someone thinks of me as “high-functioning” is by holding me up to someone who is no more or less autistic—just more obviously challenged—and deciding that they are “lower-functioning.” Really, it’s no different than saying, “Oh! Well, good for you. You’re not too ugly. That gal over there? She’s royally ugly.” Lack of understanding tied up with a bow of condescension.”
― Autism in Heels: The Untold Story of a Female Life on the Spectrum
― Autism in Heels: The Untold Story of a Female Life on the Spectrum
Andrea’s 2025 Year in Books
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