Roberta Guthrie

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The Sequel
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by Jean Hanff Korelitz (Goodreads Author)
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The Clinic
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Andy Borowitz
“He didn’t know the difference between England and Great Britain. He didn’t know that the Republic of Ireland wasn’t part of the UK. As for non-geographical facts about the country whose airports we seized in the 1700s, he didn’t know that Britain possessed nuclear weapons, nor did his White House know how to spell the first name of Prime Minister Theresa May. Trump staffers misspelled it “Teresa” three times before someone must have checked Wikipedia. Trump thought Colorado bordered Mexico. He thought Finland was a part of Russia, and that Belgium is a city. He pronounced Namibia “Nambia” and called Thailand “Thighland,” as if it were a strip club. He thought Nepal and Bhutan were parts of India, and called them “Nipple” and “Button.”
Andy Borowitz, Profiles in Ignorance: How America's Politicians Got Dumb and Dumber

Andy Borowitz
“During his 1980 White House run, his campaign wisely blocked their release. Here he is in 1978: “There were two Vietnams, north and south. They had been separate nations for centuries.” (More like since 1954.) Also in 1978: “Swarms of locusts and grasshoppers; a plague of crickets, cutworms, and ants; and swarms of mosquitoes are making life miserable and even impossible in some parts of the world… Some experts are treating this as an unexplainable mystery. Actually, there is no mystery about it… The most effective pesticide, DDT, was outlawed… on the theoretical grounds that it might, under some circumstances, some day, harm some one or some thing.”
Andy Borowitz, Profiles in Ignorance: How America's Politicians Got Dumb and Dumber

Peter Baker
“He has betrayed our national security and he will do so again. He has compromised our elections and he will do so again. You will not change him, you cannot constrain him. He is who he is. Truth matters little to him. What’s right matters even less, and decency matters not at all. I do not ask you to convict him because truth or right or decency matters nothing to him, but because we have proven our case and it matters to you. Truth matters to you. Right matters to you. You are decent. He is not who you are.[36]”
Peter Baker, The Divider: Trump in the White House, 2017-2021

Andy Borowitz
“Palin believed that the British armed forces were under the command of the Queen. She didn’t know the difference between England and the United Kingdom, and had never heard of Margaret Thatcher.X She was also shaky when it came to a former British colony, the United States of America. Answering a question about the phrase “under God” in the Pledge of Allegiance, Palin opined, “If it was good enough for the Founding Fathers, it’s good enough for me and I’ll fight in defense of our Pledge of Allegiance.” We’ll never know whether it was good enough for the Founding Fathers because the Pledge of Allegiance wasn’t written until 1892; the reference to God was inserted in 1954.”
Andy Borowitz, Profiles in Ignorance: How America's Politicians Got Dumb and Dumber

Peter Baker
“One of Giuliani’s favorite claims was the charge that anywhere between 8,000 and 30,000 dead people voted in Philadelphia. In fact, investigations would show that it was exactly two. Similarly in Georgia, he variously claimed that 800 or 6,000 or 10,515 dead people voted. There, as well, it would eventually be determined that at most it was just four. But that did not deter Giuliani. He also asserted that 65,000 or 165,000 underage people voted in Georgia, when, in fact, the number was zero. In Arizona, he said at different points that “way more than 10,000” or “32,000” or “probably about 250,000” or “a few hundred thousand” undocumented immigrants had voted illegally in the state, but investigators found no evidence that any had.[22] Not hundreds of thousands, not tens of thousands, not any.”
Peter Baker, The Divider: Trump in the White House, 2017-2021

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