Gary

“Dear Lord,” began Randy, who paused for long enough that Tristan sneaked an eye open to look at him. His saw his mother’s cheek twitch with what he thought might be apprehension. “We are so grateful to be gathered here today with our family, and the family of our brother’s homosexual boyfriend, and our new little goth friend who has a gay dad, whatever the heck that is all about. We’d like to say we’re grateful this year for condoms, lube, and Ellen Degeneres, and for those guys on Queer Eye…”

Randall Evan Phillips!” his mother shouted.”
― Z.A. Maxfield, Crossing Borders

“The story so far:
In the beginning the Universe was created.
This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.”
― Douglas Adams, The Restaurant at the End of the Universe

“You don't need meat at every meal," Riley offered, forking another bite of salad into his mouth and inwardly agreeing with Jack that it was certainly lacking something. Jack was quiet for all of ten seconds, and then he couldn't hold in his opinion one second more. "Are you really a Texan? I mean, really? Riley, if I have a headache, I'd put bacon around an aspirin before I take it.”
― RJ Scott, The Heart of Texas

“Research had given him the basics,
Tab A into Slot B using Product C after ensuring Product D
is firmly in place. The mechanics of it were simple. The
prospect, however, of having an A that big anywhere near
his B was mildly worrying”
― RJ Scott, The Christmas Throwaway