Kelly

“Must be nice to be a seagull. You eat, you sleep, you shag, and if you’re having a bad day you can shite on everyone from a great height. Doesn’t even have to be a bad day, you can do it just for fun.”
― Stuart MacBride, Birthdays for the Dead

“Steel squared her shoulders. "Ladies, and gentlemen, are are no' at home to Mr Fuckup today. Who are we no' at home to?"

The response wasn't much more than an embarrassed murmur. "Mr Fuckup."

"I CAN'T HEAR YOU! WHO ARE WE NO' AT HOME TO?"

Better this time: "Mr Fuckup."

"ONE MORE TIME!"

They bellowed it out: "WE ARE NOT AT HOME TO MR FUCKUP!"

"Damn right we're no'." She smiled, nodded. "Now get out there and catch me those bloody killers.”
― Stuart MacBride, Close to the Bone

“WPC Buchan might not know much about art, but she knew what gave her the fucking willies, and these things took the hairy biscuit.”
― Stuart MacBride, Dying Light

“Logan didn’t know which was worse – discovering your husband was a lying, adulterous bastard, or a dismembered corpse.”
― Stuart MacBride, Dying Light