India Lavoyce

“Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night.”
― Clement C. Moore, Twas the Night before Christmas A Visit from St. Nicholas

“Woke up this morning with a terrific urge to lie in bed all day and read.”
― Raymond Carver

“Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.”
― Clement Clarke Moore, Twas the Night Before Christmas

“on the phone
Bookseller: Hello Ripping Yarns.
Customer: Do you have any mohair wool?
Bookseller: Sorry, we're not a yarns shop, we're a bookshop.
Customer: You're called Ripping Yarns.
Bookseller: Yes, that's 'yarns' as in stories.
Customer: Well it's a stupid name.
Bookseller: It's a Monty Python reference.
Customer: So you don't sell wool?
Bookseller: No.
Customer: Hmf. Ridiculous.
Bookseller: ...but we do sell dead parrots.
Customer: What?
Bookseller: Parrots. Dead. Extinct. Expired. Would you like one?
Customer: Erm, no.
Bookseller: Ok, well if you change your mind, do call back.”
― Jen Campbell, Weird Things Customers Say in Bookshops