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“Everybody in the world has a nice smile, but the ones you love have the nicest smiles of all.”
― Gillibran Brown

“Can I have a tattoo?"
"Ask Dad."
"He says over my dead body."
"Well, then."
"Can I get one if I'm older?"
"Yeah. If you still want one when you grow a brain."
"When I'm seven? Cos that's well old."
"Aahh... bit older than that, maybe."
She goes tearing out of the room yelling, "PIP SAYS I CAN GET A TATTOO WHEN I'M EIGHT!”
― Richard Rider, No Beginning, No End

“What is the biggest threat to your—our—national identity, Benjamin?"
"Britain’s Got Talent?”
― John Wiltshire, Love is a Stranger

“They don’t even visit the dying
anymore. Their argument being that if someone is dying, there’s no
point interrupting a good game of golf, and they’d best just get on with
dying. However, they do give you a helpline number for an
organisation called ‘Dying To Help You Out.’ A volunteer talks you
through the process of dying alone without medical attention: “feeling
a bit chilled are you, love, don’t fret, it’s just your lifeblood
congealing in your veins, you’ll be gone any second now, hang on pet,
I’ve got a corpse on line nine, if I don’t get back before you peg it,
have a nice afterlife,” and then they bugger of leaving you with
Robbie Williams singing Angels.”
― Gillibran Brown, Fun With Dick and Shane