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Swift and Saddled
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The Enemy's Triumph
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Kelly Oram
“Why you?” I asked. “Why are you the one here with me? Why isn’t it him?”
Grayson’s smile was sad and full of sympathy. “I don’t know, Aves, but maybe it’s for the best. You guys are almost seventeen. If it hasn’t happened by now, maybe it’s not supposed to.”
“I can’t accept that.”
“Denial isn’t good for you.”
“It isn’t denial.”
“Now you’re denying your denial.”
“But look at you,” I said. “You always thought I was like a sister too. If you can change your mind, then he can too. He just needs a wake up call.”
“Hey now, you can’t just go jumping in the shower with every guy you know. That’s totally our thing.”
Kelly Oram, The Avery Shaw Experiment

Nichole Chase
“Are you upset that you can’t stomp around like a caveman and pee on my leg?” I poked his shoulder. “I’m not a tree, Your Highness.”
Nichole Chase, Suddenly Royal
tags: humor

Allie Brosh
“Most people can motivate themselves to do things simply by knowing that those things need to be done. But not me. For me, motivation is this horrible, scary game where I try to make myself do something while I actively avoid doing it. If I win, I have to do something I don't want to do. And if I lose, I'm one step closer to ruining my entire life. And I never know whether I'm going to win or lose until the last second.”
Allie Brosh, Hyperbole and a Half: Unfortunate Situations, Flawed Coping Mechanisms, Mayhem, and Other Things That Happened

Abby Jimenez
“I should just stick with medium-ugly men like I’m used to.”
Abby Jimenez, Say You'll Remember Me

M.K. Schiller
“If you think you’re doing some charity work with me… something altruistic by taking pity on poor little Lanie, get over it now, mister—”

Her fork flew right out of her hand, past Kyle’s shoulder. She sat there for a second staring disbelievingly at her empty hand. Then she narrowed her eyes at Kyle and snatched the fork out of his hand and used it.
-“That’s my fork, Lanie.”
-“Fork you, Kyle,”
M.K. Schiller, The Do-Over

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