Carrie

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Mar 14, 2026 01:51PM

 
My Inventions and...
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Book of Sketches
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Conan O'Brien
“Starbucks says they are going to start putting religious quotes on cups. The very first one will say, "Jesus! This cup is expensive!”
Conan O'Brien
tags: humor

Conan O'Brien
“Republicans have called for a National African-American Museum. The plan is being held up by finding a location that isn't in their neighborhood. ”
Conan O'Brien

Conan O'Brien
“I've always believed, in my heart of hearts, that it would be a better show if, when I crossed over to the desk, the band kept playing for an hour and I danced in a cage.”
Conan O'Brien

Conan O'Brien
“I just want to say to the kids out there watching: You can do anything you want in life. Unless Jay Leno wants to do it too.”
Conan O'Brien

Conan O'Brien
“If I existed 200 years ago, all the other farmers in my community would be like, 'That guy is worthless! He's sitting on a rock, jumping up like a frog, coming up with weird concepts and ideas, making faces, and combing his hair into a giant pastry.' It's a good thing I was born in this century, when superfluous television seems to be part of the economy.”
Conan O'Brien

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