Haley

“Choose your favorite spade and dig a small, deep hole, located deep in the forest or a desolate area of the desert or tundra. Bury your cell phone and then find a hobby.”
― Nick Offerman, Paddle Your Own Canoe: One Man's Fundamentals for Delicious Living

“I eat a bunch of spinach, but only to clean out my pipes to make room for more ribs, fool! I will submit to fruit and zucchini, yes, with gusto, so that my steak-eating machine will continue to masticate delicious charred flesh at an optimal running speed. By consuming kale, I am buying myself bonus years of life, during which I can eat a shit-ton more delicious meat. You don’t put oil in your truck because it tastes good. You do it so your truck can continue burning sweet gasoline and hauling a manly payload.”
― Nick Offerman, Paddle Your Own Canoe: One Man's Principles for Delicious Living

“Really, all religious teachings can be boiled down to: “Just be cool. Don’t be an asshole.”
― Nick Offerman, Paddle Your Own Canoe: One Man's Principles for Delicious Living

“The arithmetic is quite simple. Instead of playing Draw Something, fucking draw something! Take the cleverness you apply to Words with Friends and utilize it to make some kick-ass corn bread. Corn Bread with Friends - try that game.”
― Nick Offerman, Paddle Your Own Canoe: One Man's Fundamentals for Delicious Living