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“Where did the moor start? That's a highly debatable question. Where does the true north start? Where do moths end and butterflies begin? Where is the border between 'sometimes fancies members of the opposite sex but doesn't actually want to touch their sexual organs' and 'is definitely gay'? Who decides what's soulful funk and what's funky soul? There's always some hard-bitten unimpressable bastard who'll tell you, when you're on the moor, that you're not on the proper moor, no matter how far into the moor you are. But let's not piss about. This - whether or not it's 'technically' on the moor, as the map defines it - is a moorland village. You know, very firmly when you're in it, that you're not in London, or Kettering, or Ipswich. You're in Underhill. As you pass from the high ground down that funnel, so exquisitely depicted by Joyce, the air of the uplands remains in your nostrils, the trees have beards, the lanes have ferny green sideburns, and your hair is made of rain. It's the bloody moor, you pedantic bastards.”
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“The only things stopping me today are: genetics, lack of will, income, brain chemistry, and external events.”
― I'm a Joke and So Are You: Reflections on Humour and Humanity
― I'm a Joke and So Are You: Reflections on Humour and Humanity
“So much of our culture depicts young girls dreaming about their weddings. But every middle-aged woman I know dreams about living alone in the woods, maybe with a dog.”
― This American Ex-Wife: How I Ended My Marriage and Started My Life
― This American Ex-Wife: How I Ended My Marriage and Started My Life
“It's a boozy night, and the regulars are practically dry-humping the bar.”
― MY DATE WITH SATAN: Stories
― MY DATE WITH SATAN: Stories
“The function of music is to release us from the tyranny of conscious thought. The most moving moments of our lives find us without words. What can be explained with words is only the waves, the foam on the surface, but music has its place underneath the waves, in the silent depth of the unspeakable”
― Dandy in the Underworld: An Unauthorized Autobiography – A Disarming Memoir in the Tradition of Byron and Wilde
― Dandy in the Underworld: An Unauthorized Autobiography – A Disarming Memoir in the Tradition of Byron and Wilde
Mel’s 2025 Year in Books
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